by The Cranky Media Guy!

Fri. Oct. 6th

Synchronicity Or Just Plain Weird Coincidence?

So, I'm sitting in a motel room in Boise, Idaho last weekend. It's late and I'm watching TV. I happen across that infomercial where the guy is selling a "miracle cleaner" that removes stains instantly. Ever seen that one?

Anyway, as I'm watching, it occurs to me that the "amazing" results the guy is obtaining involve some kind of trickery. I seem to recall that I've come acros information about it somewhere or other, but for the life of me, I can't remember where.

I fly home Sunday and late that night, I'm fooling around on the Web. I visit the site of the James Randi Educational Foundation (randi.org) which is devoted to debunking pseudoscience and other forms of nonsense. I find a section of the site I had never seen before which contains back issues of an email newsletter that James Randi (the founder of the foundation) used to send out. Lo and behold, I stumble across the following passage:

Have you seen the "carpet cleaner/stain remover/instant brightener" product that is currently being offered by infomercial? As a teen, I got a job selling this product -- under a different name -- and was even taught how to mix up a batch of it. When I discovered what it actually was, I tried to expose that fact, but no one would listen to a trouble-making 16-year- old kid. It was a mixture of photographer's "hypo," soap powder and trisodium phosphate. It de-colorized two different chemical indicators (bromthymol blue and bromthymol red, if I remember correctly) and also tincture of iodine -- BUT NO OTHER CHEMICALS. And those were the ingredients we used -- the only ingedients -- for the demo. Currently, the TV demos show "ink" and "red dye" plus iodine being bleached out instantly on white shirts and carpets; but ONLY the right "stains" will vanish after meeting this product. The dirty rug and stained upholstery samples we prepared by spraying them with starch suspension, then with tincture of iodine; the result was a dingy gray color. The hypo in the mixture decolorized that instantly.

Well, that answers that question. Believe me, I was more than pleasantly surprised to come across that particular passage. If I hadn't found it by accident, I don't think I would ever have gotten the answer to how that "miracle cleaner" works. (Yes, stuff like that really does occupy space in my mind for extended periods. Be glad you aren't me.)

I'm sure Mr. Randi won't mind my quoting him here and I thank him for answering this cosmic question for me. Now I will be able to sleep at night.

Thurs. Oct. 5th

So, What's Your Point?

Northwestern University journalism professor David Protess, commenting on the NBC show Deadline, based loosely on his life:

"I watched it with my wife, teenage son, and dog and cat, and the dog seemed to be the only one who liked it. But then he likes to eat cat shit, too."

Can You Feel The Excitement?

Golly, my genitals are still tingling from the excitement caused by that presidential debate the other night. Have you ever seen anything more electrifying than those two titans, Al Gore and George W. Bush, going at it?

How fortunate are we as a nation to have two such dynamic leaders to choose from! So closely matched are they in intellect that they even dress alike. Thank goodness that awful spoilsport Ralph Nader wasn't allowed to even attend the debate as a member of the audience. A freethinking outsider like that could ruin everything! What does he think this is, a democracy?

Victims Of The New E-conomy

Productopia.com

AngryMan.com (I saw my first ad for this one just the other day, and it's already gone! Boy, things sure move fast in the on-line world!)

FreeScholarships.com

Some People Never Learn

Back in the 80's, I was a wacky DJ on a radio station in Allentown, PA. A variation on the classic pyramid scheme called the "Airplane" came through the area. At the time, the Lehigh Valley was suffering from the loss of many jobs, due to the impending closure of the Bethlehem Steel mill and Mack Truck relocating much of their operation to the South.

As a student of scams, frauds and cons, I went on a crusade to warn the people of the area that the "Airplane" was a very good way to lose a couple of thousand of their hard-earned dollars. Insofar as my life was threatened by a person who claimed to be involved with running the racket, I guess I was at least somewhat successful in my efforts.

I was dismayed to see in USA Today this week that a variation of the same tired old scam is apparently sucking up bucks in the Allentown area. This time around, it's called "World of Giving". From what the paper said, it's "Airplane" all over again; you put up $2000 and you're told it will magically multiply into $16,000.

I'll say now what I said back in the 80's. Unless it's being used to start a business, is put into an interest-bearing account of some type or is invested (none of which the operators of these kind of scams ever claim is happening), there is no way that money can increase. If any person gets eight times his money back (as happens in the early stages of these things to get the word out and draw in more suckers), his "profit" is coming from seven other people who will lose every dime they "invest". I went so far as to promise, on the air, that if the whole thing hadn't collapsed within 60 days, I would shave my head in public. Needless to say, my hair remained intact (unlike the 2 grand a lot of people lost in their greed).

If you have a friend who is telling you you're a dope for not getting in on this "good thing" and you feel your resistance dropping, make him a deal that if one of you gets the 16k and the other loses his money, the winner will refund the loser's dough. If your friend is so sure this thing can't miss, he should have no objection to agreeing to this, right? Just remember that, despite what the operators will tell you about it being just "friends helping friends", participation in scams like this is illegal in many jurisdictions.

And The Gold Medal For Pissing Away Money The Fastest Goes To...

This has to be a record. Forty-six days after it opened, Kibu.com, a web site for teenage girls, closed. In that month and a half, it managed to spend $22 million.

"The management and investors considered the options in light of interest in (business-to-consumer) companies with advertising-based business models," said Judy MacDonald, Kibu's CEO. "Their conclusion was that even if the company could achieve significant market penetration, it would not be valued appropriately." English translation: There's no way in Hell we can make money with this thing. Little late in the game to be figuring that out, don't you think, Judy?

The ex-employees, who, it would seem, hardly had time to boot up their company computers (especially if they had Windows NT on them), have posted their resumes on the web site, Kibupeople.com.