"Is 'Partisan' Latin for 'BS Artist'?"

by The Cranky Media Guy

Party Hacks

Neither rain nor snow nor sleet nor lack of furniture shall stay this weasel-spotter from completing his chosen task. Yup, I may not have a chair in my new Boise living room, but I've got a phone line hooked up to my Mac and I've got the arm of a love seat to squat on and that'll work short-term.

Hey, how 'bout that election, huh? We may not know who the president-elect is, but we do know one thing: both major political parties in this country are more full of shit than Timothy McVeigh's U-Haul.

You wanna look me in the eye and tell me that if this election fiasco was the other way around, the Republicans and Democrats wouldn't be making the opposite arguments?

I mean, here's George W. Bush, champion of states' rights, arguing that a federal judge should come in and throw Florida law out the window. I guess that whole "sovereignty" principle depends on how many scooter-driving old coots can accurately poke a stick through a hole next to your opponent's name.

Just as laughably, the Democrats, the party for whom death has not always been considered a deterrent against voting, is suddenly insisting on scrupulous accuracy. Why, Al "Chad" Gore wouldn't have it any other way.

Are you getting it yet? When push comes to shove, these guys really only have one principle: win at any cost. If you have to do a sudden one-eighty on what you supposedly believe in, well, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, right?

Ralph Nader doesn't strike me as the giddy type but, if as some people say, he's the reason the election is about to go into double overtime, he ought to be as giddy as a raver with a glow tube. Even if you don't like his politics, we all owe him for proving once and for all what a lot of us have long suspected, Republicans and Democrats alike will do and say anything to hang on to those cushy little gigs we citizens pay for.

So here's to James Baker and all the rest: You used to call yourselves "Statesmen" - now you're just political hacks ..and weasels.

Check-out some of the weasels of the recent past!. Visit the Hall of Shame section of The Crank Tank.