George Harrison and Nirvana

by Will 'The Cranky Music Man' Golightly

George Harrison is about to test his theory that all things must pass. He’s been dead a couple weeks now, but there’s a little controversy swirling about. The first point of contention is the location of his ashes. His family said they were going to spread his ashes in the Ganges River. Next a Hare Krishna spokesman confirmed that the family was on their way to India to perform the ceremony. Officials in India, however, deny that anyone has contacted them about the ceremony.

It is common for the family of famous dead people to contact the local government in matters such as tossing famous dead ashes into a river. And to make matters even more confusing, another government official in India speculated that the ceremony may have already taken place. So who do we believe?

George left about $300 million to the Hare Krishnas when he died, so we certainly can’t take anything they say seriously. I think it’s a huge cover-up, personally. And just to prove that I’m on to something, the curiously named Gloria Allred has filed a formal complaint with Los Angeles officials. Allred is a famous attorney who made her name in cases involving such pillars of the community as Charlie Sheen, Courtney Love, and Tommy Lee.

The address listed on Harrison’s death certificate as the location of his death is a residence in Beverly Hills. But that address DOES NOT EXIST! Allred got a whiff of this and pounced.

We’ll ignore the fact that famous dead people often have the addresses on death certificates fudged to avoid tourists and vigils and smelly shrines of incense and flowers. We’ll also overlook the Harrison family’s inexplicable reluctance to tell the media every detail of George’s funeral ceremony. And here’s the picture that we’re left with: George Harrison is dead. End of story.

While George is relaxing in the next world, smoking a cig and making fun of Paul with John Lennon, Nirvana is in turmoil. Kurt Cobain’s band had a box set planned for release in time to be under every Christmas tree this year, but that didn’t work out. And here, in a nutshell, is the story so far.

After the death of Kurt Cobain, Nirvana LLC was created to administer Nirvana’s legacy and, of course, the lucrative release of reissues, remastered albums, unreleased material. The company was set up by Courtney Love, Dave Grohl, and Krist Novoselic; all decisions must be decided by a unanimous vote. How could any legal entity one-third in Coutney Love’s hands go wrong?

After releasing the MTV Unplugged album and a successful live album, things started to get wonky. The box set is ready to go, and it includes a coveted unreleased song recorded by Cobain called "You Know You’re Right." The box set was going to be released on the 10^th anniversary of the band’s gigantic Nevermind album. Grohl and Novoselic say the Love is the only reason the box set was not released. She has blocked it in the courts and has filed a suit to break up Nirvana LLC. Oh yeah, and she’s suing Universal Music Group for sole possession of the Nirvana master tapes.

Grohl and Novolesic think she is doing this to help her own career, which is stalled right now in a legal battle with Universal Music Group, the label her band Hole records for. It doesn’t help her cause that she hasn’t been in a major movie for years, and her side project Bastard went down in flames when the other members realized they hate working with her.

Love’s lawyer released a statement saying such a claim is ridiculous, especially when Grohl’s and Novoselic’s careers are even worse off than Love’s. This is known as the "I know you are, but what am I" defense.

So everything is tied up in court right now. And George Harrison is still dead. But I’ll keep you posted if either of those things changes.